Mommy thoughts....

After the first glass was finished, the cheap bottle of red wine didn't taste that bad after all. The room was warmer, my cheeks were flushed, and all those busy feelings were settling down. Yes, the week was coming to an end, the weekend was about to begin. I swear, Mondays should be a vacation day for all adults with children. Mondays should be Sunday's vacation. When you become a parent, you accept that your life will never be completely about you again. Your world, views, driving, everything changes. Suddenly, the world is much more full than it was the day before, and you unexpectedly care more about the little things then you did nine months earlier. You change, grow, and become a new you.
I never knew that I could love someone one as much as I do my child. I never imagined that such a love could exist. I never knew how much walking alone through the quiet isles of Target was a small valued treasure. How nice it was to watch something other than, "Cloudy with a chance of meatballs" over and over again. I took advantage of sleeping past 730am.
Then you look at the face of the love of your life, your child, and think, "weren't you just in diapers?", "When did you get so big?", and "What the heck are you wearing?", and most recently think, "She can't talk to me like that...hey, I say that...." And you think about your acquaintances whose children have grown and "flocked the nest" and what a foreign concept that is.
"Everyone is getting so big" starts to sink in.

Never, would I ever have cried at the opening of the Lion King before I had children. Nor would I imagine that I would demand the grocery clerk, "check in the back" when the store was out of my child's favorite cereal. The importance of a bed time routine and 8pm were foreign concepts.

I love my kids more than anything or anyone in this world. And although they sometimes drive me crazy, and will someday give me gray hairs, I couldn't imagine my life without them. The daily chaos that three children cause a single mother, in some ways, should be treasured. Because when they have "flocked the nest" and when the house is quiet again, and when a trip to Target becomes a chore rather than an escape, those will be the days when we look back and wonder how quickly the years have past.

My New Years resolution is to live in the moment. A concept I've tried to explain to my seven year old, and have found is way beyond her understanding. If we don't live in the moment, and we are constantly thinking about what the next moment will be, how can we truly enjoy the gifts we are given. May they be monetary, or something as simple as a quiet moment to ourselves, living in the moment makes each day better than the one before.